Nudist Colony of the Dead (1991)
Nudist Colony of the Dead (1991)
Starring Darwyn Carson, Bea Lindgren, Braddon Mendelson and Forrest J. Ackerman. Directed by Mark Pirro.
In Nudist Colony of the Dead, a group of religious types successfully petition a court to have a nudist colony closed down. In response, the nudists commit mass suicide. When the colony is turned into a bible camp, the undead nudists rise from their graves to wreak bloody vengeance… Sorta.
I used to watch a lot of “So Bad It’s Good” horror movies. A couple of friends of mine and I had something called ‘The Green List’ – movies that would likely be brilliant if you were high. As the years go by and life gets busier, I’ve been less inclined to waste time on movies that look like godawful shit. However, while having a couple of late-night drinks with a buddy, we happened across the catchily titled Nudist Colony of the Dead on Amazon Prime and sanity deserted us.
I will be first to admit that I lean towards the critical side on the rare occasions I write about movies for this site. That is, of course, because I could clearly do it better despite what that small pile of my rejected screenplays might suggest. On this occasion, though, I don’t think that I could. Nudist Colony of the Dead is really something special. Filmed in a 4:3 aspect ratio, it is clear from the off that you’re looking at some no-budget schlock. The makeup effects, particularly on the 6,000-year-old leader of the nudists, are something else. No attempt is made to hide the fact it’s a body suit. Nope, this film revels in the absurd.
Writer and director, Mark Pirro, lampoons the antics of US religious groups through a cast of characters that range from irritating to exasperating. One quotes from the Bible at every opportunity, adding a movie title to the chapter and verse. Another looks like a rejected applicant for the role of AC Slater in Saved by the Bell. Two hillbilly types spend most of the film playing strip poker, and one girl is proud to announce that she has never masturbated. We must also not forget the leader of the Christian fanatics who demanded the closure of the nudist colony. It is revealed the colony is one-hundred and fifty miles from their town. That seems like a deliberate dig at how these people get offended by things that don’t affect them.
The movie strikes me as what happens when you really want to make a musical. However, unable to raise any investment for your plans you resort to that old favourite – tits and blood. In this case, it is mostly the suggestion of tits and blood. Gore is at a minimal, and although there is some flesh on display, mostly it’s of the surgically-enhanced-yet-rotting variety. At this point, I might normally discuss the technical side of things: acting, cinematography, etc. I’m just not going to bother, this time. However bad this may be, it is clearly a case of people having fun and not intended to be taken seriously. Those responsible for Black Devil Doll from Hell should take note.
Although there are only a handful of random acts of musical frivolity, they do seem like they take up half of the film. See, for example, this wonderfully choreographed piece of nonsense:
In truth, I am not even sure why I am attempting to review Nudist Colony of the Dead. It is as bad as you would imagine, although perhaps not as bad as you would expect. I might even give it the edge over Zombie Strippers, and that had Robert Englund in it! With that said, you can probably guess this is a deliberately bad movie. As always with the deliberately bad, a liberal dash of absurd humour is thrown in. The addition of that humour makes this movie work in some small way. Nudist Colony of the Dead is not something you would want to watch sober. If you have a buddy or two over and drinks available, you might just be able to have a laugh over this one. And at the very least, some of the kills are creative.
Do be aware though that the song in the opening credits is a massive fucking earworm. So here it is!