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All Around the Houses with Yodel (Not My House Though!)

All Around the Houses with Yodel (Not My House Though!)

Yes, It’s Yodel Again!

Further to my previous post about these clowns, I made the mistake of ordering with another site which uses Yodel and in doing so was introduced to a level of douchebaggery I haven’t experienced since Natwest decided to cancel my card because I tried to purchase a Windows 8 upgrade.

On this occasion, I was waiting for several packages all being delivered by different couriers. DPD rocked up quite early, followed by ParcelForce and then Amazon Logistics. All good. The only thing I was waiting for was Yodel and I waited, and waited… and then at 16:55 it happened. The tracking status update – “Delivery attempted, card left” – erm, no, Yodel, just no. You see, I’m not an idiot and therefore when I know a package is coming, particularly when I have paid for next day delivery to receive that package, I make sure I’m available. No delivery was attempted, and no card was left because no delivery was attempted.

The red mist descended.

I called Yodel’s customer service number and spoke to a relatively pleasant chap who went off to investigate. After a few minutes on hold, long enough for the music track to change from something quite pleasant to a deafening roar, he returned to inform me that the local depot attempted to call the driver, but there was no reply. He then confirmed that he could tell that the driver had not been on my street and consequently they would ensure that my delivery was made tonight. This was acceptable if a little inconvenient as the non-delivery of my package had delayed my plans for the day by several hours, but as Yodel do allow themselves until 9pm to decide whether they can be bothered to do their job or not, I couldn’t complain too much.

Alas, later I checked the status again – “Delivery attempted, awaiting instruction” – with a nice little note that the parcel was sitting back in the depot and I should be re-arranging delivery. I called them again. This time the person I spoke to said that the driver had been on my street but probably just went to the wrong house. Really? Your drivers are so inept at their job that they attempt to deliver to the wrong house? It is hardly the most taxing of tasks to identify a house number and knock on the door. Regardless, we now have two separate stories from Yodel. One in which they admit fault, another in which they make excuses.

Who to believe?

So in the space of a week, Yodel have twice managed to just not deliver yet wrongly assert that they attempted to do so. This alternate reality theory I previously proposed may have some merit. Perhaps there is a tear in the space-time continuum, and my house slips out of this dimension and into another? I really must investigate this as it is beginning to throw a spanner in my various plans and it is also beginning to cost me money in delivery fees, which I’m sure neither Yodel nor eBuyer will be particularly interested in refunding. (UPDATE: I was a bit too quick on the draw with this one, eBuyer got in touch the following day and informed me that my fees would be refunded and that they would be speaking with their account manager at Yodel to find out just what had happened. Good one, eBuyer!)

All I can do is simply not order from any store that uses Yodel again but unfortunately a significant number of them do.

I wonder if the people behind SFE are also behind Yodel? It would begin to explain quite a lot… in an inbred monster-baby kind of way. I think I may have to avoid dealing with companies for a while. This week has been thoroughly soul-destroying.

Update: It gets worse! I checked my online tracking status again to check to see that they had received my instructions to deliver today’s item tomorrow and now they claim they have delivered it! Who the hell to because it certainly isn’t to me? Is this their idiot driver striking again with his inability to comprehend house numbers? Was he even on the correct street? So now I have to wait all night to work out where a rather pricey piece of equipment has gone because of the incomprehensible incompetence of a major delivery company. The item required a signature too, although previous experience has taught me Yodel don’t give a damn about signatures. Honestly, Yodel, give me my item and then fuck off. Just fuck off you incompetent morons.

Another Update: After angrily slating Yodel on a popular review site, I was contacted by someone named Dani at Yodel. She decided to look into what had happened and tracked my package for me and when it was finally delivered on Friday checked with me that all was well. Dani, honestly, you’re too good for Yodel, but while she is still there, I would suggest anyone with Yodel-related issues drop an email to [email protected] It really gets things done a lot quicker.

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